Found on an internet forum as someone’s signature line:
I’m not a complete idiot… some parts are still on backorder.
Silly saying…
Dear Diary…
Dear Diary…
Found on an internet forum as someone’s signature line:
I’m not a complete idiot… some parts are still on backorder.
ally-cat 
And by “someone” you mean you…
Lauren, please die in a flaming house fire caused by your tivo overheating.
lol i like your modification on the old “die in a fire” quip
And the addition of “please”