my dad called me yesterday to ask if im going to the lake for thanksgiving this year. for once i was able to say i was cause im finally NOT WORKING over the holidays. but today i actually thought about going to the lake, and i realised i dont want to go for – but for a whole new reason this year. this will be the first time the family has gotten together since the funeral. how are we going to have a happy thanksgiving dinner when 3 chairs will be empty? i wonder if uncle stuart is going to come. what do you say to a man thats lost everyone?? the whole thing is going to be sad and weird and really gonna suck.
reading over this i realise i just sorta said it without going into much detail. the truth of it is, im really really saddened when i put deep thought into it, so i usually try to just never think about it at all. if i think about it or talk about it i get near tears…like now.