soup

so i decided i was going to make myself some soup for lunch. simple enough right? first i try to open the can with the hand held can opener. now i know ive only used such a contraption a couple of times but it shouldnt be too hard. it doesnt work. i get a different one out of the drawer, perhaps the first one was broken, but still no luck. i peer thru a foggy daze at the contraption but can see nothing wrong with it. i regard the can lid to see if it has worked at all. then i noticed a tab top open. i dont even need a can opener. so i pour the glob into the pot and put it on low heat. i take abby out and get the mail. i come back in and the stuff has burned a bit on the bottoms and sides – how frustrating. also, it should be ready by now but it still looks like a thick blob and not like soup. i pick up the can again and read the label “cream of potato”. no word “soup” i read further “condensed soup”. this must be for cooking. i dump the mess in the sink and get out another pot. i yank open the cabinet and get a different can. “condensed soup”. i grab another and another, all “condensed soup”. UGH. now i have no soup.